Freedom Writers

Two nights ago I was watching a movie called "Freedom Writers". Im not a tv or movie person at all but I was flipping the channels and landed on this. I really like shows/movies which hit deep. Here is the synopsis.

When life isn`t going as planned and feeling like it cant get anymore miserable, watching this movie made me feel thankful for just being alive and making it as far as I am. Even when I am surrounded by superiors at work who have well moved along with their career, watching this movie dropped me to the group. The movie made me think that the situations that even I am going through are not as stressful and depressing as it looks. So even if you think that life cannot get any worse, think about people who never even had a chance to live a life and were put down for no reason of their own, but because of other`s interest. It made me want to read the book that was introduced "The diary of Anne Frank". I looked at the library available for this but there are many people who have holds on this. Ill get to reading this no matter what. This isnt something that I can just forget and leave it. On a side note, I thought Hilary Swank looked really cute.

Watch it if you havent!

Windows 7 , and life updates

I have been using Windows XP on my Dell for as long as I can remember. I never switched to Vista because of the hassle of trying to learn the new interface. As well, as time went by, I heard many people complaining that Vista was a bad OS release, which made me glad that I didn`t upgrade. Now that Windows 7 is out, I decided to upgrade the family computer to 7. This computer used to have Vista on it, which I used for maybe a week or two. I understood a bit of what people were talking about when they said "Vista is terrible!". Well I didn`t think it was terrible, but it did annoy me a bit. After working with 7 for a week now, I don`t think I will ever want to switch back to a previous OS. The number of neat options that they have put on this has really impressed me. Although, for my other computer (the one I used to use for university, and now for work) I dont want to take the chance of installing a new OS and going through the hassle of reinstalling all of the programs, not to mention the nightmare I might have to go through incase something went wrong. On top of that, my computer is old! It only has 80 gigs. Installing the OS and putting my music and pictures and programs on there will leave me with like 10-20 gigs of free space left which is not worth going through.

With other news, one of the researcher`s I emailed for graduate school was really impressed with me regardless of my marks. Im going to see him again in a few weeks to discuss about different things. Thats obviously not a shoe in for me to get into graduate school, but its good to keep in touch to have that option open. My plan B, which was applying as a non-degree student, in order to upgrade my qualifications for grad school is unknown at the current moment. My top choice was rejected but I am in the process of appealing. Hopefully that works out. Maybe they will be more leanent because its not like I am applying in order to complete a degree. I applied to other places but Im still waiting to hear from them. The waiting and not knowing where I am going to be in September is annoying.

Other than that, things are going good at my current research placement. I am gaining a lot of experience and working hard with the other students.

Wish me luck that something will work out and that Im not just doing nothing when September comes!

Thanks for reading! :D

Sports related issues

I hope everyone is having a great 2010 so far. Last week felt like the slowest week every! It felt like it would never end. But it did and on to week 2!

I dont know whether you are sports fanatics or watchers or players or just plain not interested in sports, but I watch various sports on television. Baseball being one of them, I have been following it since I was just a kid. Seeing what kind of players would get traded, signed, dropped, etc for my home team was exciting to look forward to. I don't know how long ago the first steroid news broke out, but it felt like it was just an independent incident, but so many years later, its disgusts me to realize that the people that I thought were superman, were just not really real. Today, I realized that Mark McGwire, otherwise known as "Big Mac" admitted to taking steroids. If anyone doesn't know much about baseball, this player holds the record for the most home-runs in one season. I thought this feet was pretty amazing since he was at the time, fighting for the title against players like Ken Griffey Jr. and Sammy Sosa. But to the point, over the past 5 years or so, it has really disgusted me to realize that so many players have admitted or have been busted for taking steroids. Sports, especially professional sports, shoudnt be about cheating and/or taking advantages to have a higher performance over other people. No one knows exactly at what time and period people are taking drugs unless they are tested on the spot. With this unknowingness on the sport, it has really taken my love for the game really down. I get a burst of exciting when pre-season starts, but when it gets to the actual season, I dont have that excitement I once did for watching it on television. Well thats my two cents on that one.

On another sports related front, my favorite sport to watch and keep track on every issue is Formula 1 (F1). Not really trying to explain why, but one of the top drivers (Lewis Hamilton) I heard today, broke up with his long time girlfriend, which I think is more familiarly known to people, Nicole Scherzinger F1 isnt as big as other sports in terms of the number of athletes (only 20 or so drivers) but Lewis Hamilton is I guess you can say, one of the professional athletes whom I really admire, not only because he is around my age, but because of his integrity. Its just sad to see them break up.

Well I guess thats it for that.
Have a good week!

The slightly opened door - One that I would never of thought would open

This week, the start of the first business week of the new year. The process for graduate school for most of the universities in Canada is to find a supervisor who is willing to take you on and then apply to the school because without a supervisor to support you, then there is no point of grad school. (In science research that is)

Anyways, I thought my chances were very slim. By slim, I mean I thought razor slim that even winning the lottery would be higher than me getting into grad school, or even getting an interview from the potential supervisors I showed interest in. Well maybe I sent out 7 or 8 emails. For the majority, I haven't heard back from them yet, but the surprising thing is that I heard back from 3. All three showed interest in me, but only 2 said they would be willing to meet with me. The third person said that I had all the qualifications that they were looking for as scientists, but that my marks wouldn't cut it for getting in to the school. Well this is the case for all the universities I apply to (ya, thats how low my marks are), but these two people that did say they were willing to see me I guess saw some potential in me. The interview might be a little awkward, but even getting this far, Im amazed. And even if my marks come in the way for this coming school year, if I am able to convey my passion and dedication for scientific research (ie: not straying away after a few years to med school or law school etc), along with my research experience, and referrals, they may consider me for a position in their laboratory. Maybe not as a graduate student at first, as the department probably wont budge on their decision, but working as a researcher in the supervisors lab would be possible.

Im keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping for the best. :D

The revalation about the gift of life even in the midst of life's cruel circumstances

Last year (2009) is when I graduated from university with a B.Sc. Ever since I can remember, my aspirations were to become a research scientist. For many, becoming a scientist means going to graduate school and then go on to get a Ph.D. and then post doctorate. If anything people know about graduate school is that good marks are a must and that is something I do not have. My goal during university was to gain as much experience in science knowledge as I can, even if that meant sacrificing my marks (ie: I hardly took any "bird courses"). Although my marks are low, I am still determined to pursue this career path. Even if it means going through a different road, its what I am passionate about. This doesn't mean Im a happy go lucky type of person. If anything, you could call me the unluckiest person because nothing ever seems to go my way when it needs to. Sure I have some research experience in the past, but by pursuing this path, I have to mention my disability (paralysis), justify my low marks, and I have to mention about health problems (seizures). Pondering about how all of this is going to come together and whether if its going to work out is a nightmare. While everyone else is working and earning income and going along their career paths, Im here volunteering in a research lab presently, trying to gain experience. When your 24 without an income and it feels like an eternity away from earning income, its a bit embarrassing. Friends I would like to meet up with regularly to catch up, buying personal enjoyment gifts, and the like, which require $$, its tough to sink the joy of all that in and try to "think positively and look forward". When chances are slim that grad school is possible (since its a competitive stream), its a depressing place to be in emotionally, taking into account the big picture. Presently all I have going for me is my research experience, my references, and my motivation and determination.

Hopefully something will come together soon because I hate being stuck in this pit of not being able to enjoy life such as going out for dinner with friends and etc.

Although in the end, maybe I should take it a bit easier on myself since I do have these external things in my life that I cant control. Its not like brain damage is going to fix itself miraculously when I wake up tomorrow, or being able to have full usage of my body, or be 100% free from seizures and etc.

Nevertheless, I should be really thankful for where I am. There are people out there that want to go to university but just cant because of financial situations, and there are people worse off than me mentally and physically, or people who cant even get a roof over there head. Although, life shoudn't be about comparing oneself to others, but if anything this holiday season has taught me, its to be patient, quiet, and in the end, shut up and realize the gift of life, whatever way it comes in.

A metaphoric sunglass

I had never been a sunglasses wearing person up to now. When I was in Banff, with all the bright white snow glaring up at me from the bottom, and the beautiful sunlight from above, I had to get something. Well I wanted to put this  on because I thought it was a nice photographic composition haha. What do you think? And no, these arn't $200 sunglasses. They are from Shopper's Drug Mart :D. Yup, Im not one to spend sooo much time in the malls or a lot of money on a pair of sunglasses. These were like $15. I wish I could wear it more often, but where I am from, its just cloudy and cold with only a glimpse of sunlight peaking through once in a while.

Metaphorically speaking though. I think my life is a lot like wearing sunglasses. People know I exist, but they dont really know my character or personality. Its not like I am a introvert, but with stuff going on in my life that I have to pursue (career wise), and not having the energy and strength to want to keep up with things like facebook, I feel like this is my only refuge to let out my true thoughts. I guess its like being able to take off my sunglasses and just be me. Are there blogger's like that?

On another note, thank you for everyone who has dropped by and read and commented on my blog. It really means a lot to me to know that people are actually reading. It gives me inspiration and determination to continue on regularly and not give up posting.

Social media

What do people think about social media? I totally get facebook, MySpace and those kind of internet social places to connect and keep up with friends and family, but how about people who use social media like Youtube and twitter to reach out to an audience whom they dont even know on a real level. Im not going to lie, I tried doing things like Youtube, and flickr to reach out to an unknown audience, but for me, mainly its so I can add some kind of social factor into my life rather than feeling like I am all alone with no one to talk to. So yes, what I wonder is why people go into things like chat rooms, youtube, and the like, to want to reach out to an audience who they dont know at all. The first thought that would come into my mind if I found out that one of my friends were actively involved in creating youtube videos and etc is....strange, off, weird. Probably because its outside the box of the norm. Any thoughts?



Discuss/ Leave comment :D